Remember when you were in your 20’s and you were spontaneous? Remember when you could drop everything in a moment’s notice? Spontaneous road trip? Falling in love with someone who was completely wrong for you? Moving to a new city? Becoming friends with a stranger?
Marriage came soon after, and maybe you still were spontaneous at times. Impromptu picnic? Woke up and decided to drive to the beach? Last minute dinner plans with your besties?
Next, children were in the picture. Being spontaneous just flew out of the window. Forget it. Picking up and just being seems impossible. Having a kid on board requires planning. Scheduling. And let’s be honest. You are way to tired to even think about being spontaneous.
Being spontaneous in your 40’s is a bit different. Basically, being spontaneous is a person living an open, natural, and uninhibited manner. That sounds appealing to me. A nice break from my calendar and everyday commitments. The opposite of spontaneous is being boring. Being on auto-pilot. People say that when you become 40 years old, you just don’t care what people think of you any more. This naturally will lead you to become more open and natural. I am there having just turned 40 last month.
Recently, I was asked to join a good friend and her friends to go to Kinston, NC to eat in the famous restaurant and PBS darling, Chef and the Farmer.
I know many people would have said no because maybe they are uncomfortable being around people they really do not know. I looked at my over scheduled calendar and sent a text to my friend saying no, I can’t go because of scheduling conflicts. I basically have to be a driver this evening shuffling my kids around to activities. My husband had a professional continuing education class on the schedule. There was no way I could make it work.
I really wanted to follow Tina Fey’s advice, “Say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.” But I knew it would take a miracle to be able to go on this adventure.
And then it happened.
Five minutes later my husband called me and said his class was canceled. Immediately, I said you have kid duty tonight. I am going on a road trip.
So as we get older you still have to plan in terms of handling responsibilities.
But being spontaneous can happen if you want it to.
I did not even think for a second that I would be going on this road trip with women I do not really know, let alone letting one of them drive (people who have control issues would have said no just because someone else is driving). Were we crazy for wanting to drive an hour and a half to a destination where we have good restaurants in our town? Some people think so. But I really do not care what they think.
This is what happened, that might not have happened if I stayed in town. First of all, I made some new friends after this road trip. Friends that were acquaintances (practically strangers), but after spending over 7 hours with them, they are friends now. Sure, I was friends with them on Instagram, but well you know there is a difference between virtual “friends” and “present” friends.
I went to Mother Earth Brewing, and discovered a beer that I actually would drink. Normally, you would not find me at a brewery. But this a time I went with the flow.
Next, I went to the Chef and the Farmer. I had really, REALLY good food that I shared with a group of foodies. And do not let me start with the amazing dessert I had there, salted caramel apple crisp with rosemary ice cream. And since we are all social media consultants, no one minded taking pictures of food while we talked.
On the drive back, I saw the most amazing lightening storm that was ahead of us. I mean really cool watching mother nature do her thing on that drive. And I got home late on a week night. After 1am. Totally worth it!
When was the last time you did something spontaneous?
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